Posts Tagged ‘Rob Ford’


October 4, 2014 Leave a comment

footprints-in-the-sandThe wife and I went down to the Waterfront Trail for a run. As the wife is considerably better at running, she took off like a jack rabbit and I followed along at a slower pace.

When I reached the end of the path, I checked my pocket for my keys. I am paranoid about losing the car keys when I run so I check them often. Today was doubly important because they were in that little money pocket in the liner that really only holds quarters, nickels and maybe a USB key. At the end of the path, the keys were in my pocket.

When I got back to the start of the path I decided I had enough for the day and walked to the car to wait for the wife and to fix the damage that installing iOS8 did to my running app playlist (don’t ask).

The keys were not in my pocket.

So I did what any logical person would do, I went back along my running path to see where I dropped them. I asked every dog walker and passerby if they had seen them. No luck. I made it all the way back to end of the path where I last checked them only to come up empty.

I stopped and pondered. I walked a few more steps. And then I noticed that my now highly attuned flight-or-fight reflexes (the same one you get when you think you’ve lost your wallet) were sensing a jingle in my walk…

I looked in my shorts and there were my keys nestled in the liner. Hooray!

It was then that I realized that unlike the Jesus that carries you when you hit hard times along the path, apparently my Jesus hides my keys in my shorts so that I do twice as much running as I want to do. My Jesus moonlights as a physical trainer.

This also explains why I can’t find one of our telephones, apparently I’m not doing enough stairs.

[Aside: I Googled “Jesus is my running coach” to find an appropriate image and Google responded with a picture of Rob Ford. Religion is very confusing.]