Another Throwback Thursday…at Seventeen…

February 20, 2014 Leave a comment

This one was taken only 2 years after the last one. Hard to believe, I know.

Even while girly I had sports injuries.

Even while girly I had sports injuries.

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Time for Throwback Thursday

February 13, 2014 2 comments

I haven’t participated in throwback thursday yet. Today I read another blog that did it and I thought, ‘why not?’

And then I looked at old photos, saw this one and said, ‘that’s why not’.

I was cool despite the 80s… or not.

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Why does “vegetarian” rhyme with “carrion”?

January 22, 2014 2 comments

For 2014, the wife and I decided to try vegetarianism. I’m from Alberta and love meat so it’s an odd thing. I also don’t like beans. People are making bets on how long we last. I put $20 down on 3 months.

Here is how the first 22 days have gone:

Day 1 – I turn to the wife and say, ‘do you want to try vegetarianism?’ and she says, ‘sure’. She likes beans so it’s less of an effort for her.

Day 2 – We discover we have lots of meat in our fridge. Those animals are already dead so we decide it would be disrespectful to throw it away. We eat three chicken breasts, a pound of ground beef, two spinach and chicken pizzas and a Stawnichy sausage ring. We leave the steaks for another day.

Day 5 – The wife has tuna. I gently point out that tuna is meat. After some discussion, she is allowed tuna. I go to the bathroom and take the tuna out of my hair.

Day 16 – We visit the in-laws. Her mother makes her famous chicken fingers. Well, that chicken is already dead so …

Day 17 – I unexpectedly show up at my work’s Lunch and Learn. They didn’t order a veggie meal for me so I take some penne with tomato sauce and ground meat and pick out the meat like a five year old.

Day 20 – I notice my leather shoes. I recognize the hypocrisy of wearing animals when I won’t eat them. I start researching how to make clothing from the cat hair that is under the couch.

Day 21 – My boss (a vegetarian) asks how it’s going and suggests we become 25% meat eaters. I ask her to define that. Apparently, we only eat meat once a week. I leave her office wondering how she became my boss with that kind of math.

Day 22 – I find a recipe for veggie lasagna for the slow cooker. I can’t find half the ingredients so I throw in the steaks.

Vegetarianism is much easier than it looks.

The Healing Powers of the Internet

January 15, 2014 Leave a comment

Sometimes, I like to Google search random things. Today, I Googled “I ate way too many chocolate covered almonds”. I love chocolate covered almonds and we got a big Costco bag of them for Christmas.

Today, I ate way too many of them (which is why I don’t buy them normally) and thought I’d see what the Google search coders thought of that.

The result was a story from 2011 about Sean Williams, a basketball player who ate so many chocolate covered almonds that he vomited during a basketball game. If you don’t believe me, http://blogs.thescore.com/tbj/2011/12/29/sean-williams-puked-because-he-ate-too-many-chocolate-covered-almonds/

So in the end, I felt pretty good about myself. Yes, I ate a lot of almonds, but since I didn’t vomit, it obviously wasn’t too many.

I may even have more.

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Getting older…

July 15, 2013 1 comment

So this is a senior moment conversation with my wife. She was upstairs. I was downstairs:

Me: Can you bring down a thing of Lysol wipes when you come down?
Wife: Sure.
<Short time passes>
Wife: Where is it?
Me: In the linen closet.
Wife: Why is your phone in the linen closet?
Me: It’s not.
<More time passes>
Wife: What did you ask me for?

But I take solace in the fact that we’re not REALLY old. If we were REALLY old, my phone would actually be in the linen closet.

5k… the k stands for ‘crazy’.

July 11, 2013 Leave a comment

The wife and I have signed up for a 5k Scotiabank run in October to raise money for her work. The wife wanted 10k but there didn’t seem to be one.

Also, we saw two zombie movies on the weekend (Zombieland and World War Z) and those zombies were very fast. Not the caffeine-deprived, laggardly ones I routinely encounter in the Resident Evil franchise.  These ones are the cheetahs of the zombie world. I would not survive an apocalypse with cheetah zombies. I need to get faster… or at least faster than the wife. She just did 18k in two hours in someone else’s shoes just because she felt like walking home from downtown Toronto though so unless the zombies take her by surprise, they’ll get me first.

Which leads me to training for this charity run. I started by drinking a Bolthouse Farms Vanilla Chai Tea. It has 18g protein and 646mg calcium. Good start. I’m not actually running until tonight but I didn’t want to run with a full bladder. That would slow down my time.

Step 2 was investigating running apps for iPhone. My virgo engineer brain only enjoys what I can track and graph. I found out that I already have a running app that I enjoy very much: Zombies, run! I think it was running from zombies that put me in the hospital last year. Despite this, I will use it again. The wife is greatly entertained when I suddenly accelerate to escape an imaginary zombie hoard.

Step 3 was downloading the race app on my iPhone so I could track my fundraising efforts. So far, the wife has raised more money but that’s good. While she’s distracted by her fundraising achievements, I’ll get a head start on the race and leave her behind with the Scotiabank zombies.

The final step for today’s training regimen was writing this blog.

Looks like I’m ready to race… No wait – I need new running shoes…

The old bait and switch routine

November 19, 2012 Leave a comment

I was first introduced to my wife via that internet thingamajig. When I saw her photo I thought, ‘now that woman likely teaches Kindergarten and makes quiches.’ Very wholesome thoughts ran through my head.

Then I later met her in person and discovered that this woman does not teach kindergarten, nor does she make quiche. She is the deadliest of all women: the femme fatale. And she mixes a mean chocolate martini.

So of course, I did what any boring, nerdy, Virgo engineer would do. I married her.

We have told the story about how wholesome and quiche-like she seemed to be and everyone laughs. I get mocked relentlessly for being so naive.

But the joke’s on you. Last weekend, she made me quiche.