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Four Blogs!

July 30, 2008 Leave a comment
 
Blog 1: Change is bad.
 
I’m not sure what happened, but I seem to be short rubbermaid/ziploc/glad containers. I had bought a bunch for salads for work but I’m finding that they disappear – like the sock in the dryer phenomenon – although my socks have always been fine. Perhaps this is due to the sock monster taking my ziploc containers.
 
I figured I’d pick up more. No problem.
 
Problem. They don’t seem to make them in the same and/or shape of the ones I already have. So now I have more mismatched containers. ARG!
 
Those of you who know me, know I’m really annoyed by this. Sigh.
 
Blog 2: Elvis Festival!
 
On Saturday, Co-Worker A and I went to Collingwood for their annual Elvis Festival. It was very random and very fun. There were many Elvises – Old Elvis, Young Elvis, Jumpsuit Elvis. There was a bald Elvis. One Elvis didn’t look anything like Elvis – he had white hair and was wearing a normal suit – like a lounge singer would wear.
 
Sadly, I had forgotten my camera. Happily, RY let me borrow hers. Sadly, it was set to take pictures in black and white. I’ve attached a photo of Co-Worker A and I with one of the many Elvises. In black and white. Maybe you can print it and colour it yourself.
 
Blog 3: London Pride Parade.
 
We twirled in the London Pride Parade again. It was much the same as last year – proud gays and self-righteous protestors. The main difference this year was regarding the restroom facilities in the staging area.
 
Last year, while we were setting up, we were in a parking lot behind a gay club. The owners of the gay club let us use their restrooms. This year, we were in the same parking lot, but the gay club was closed. RY and I wandered from door to door, trying to get in and not succeeding. Finally, we were pointed to the back door of the building attached to the club.
 
The door was opened and we entered. Inside was a small vestibule with a ticket window on one side and a door on the other. The ticket window was empty, the door was locked. We rang the button and a nice gentleman appeared. When he saw us, he looked a little startled.
 
"We’re from the parade group – Can we use your restrooms?" I asked.
 
"Um…. "
 
"Last year, we used the restrooms next door but they were locked today," I added hopefully.
 
"I’ll go see if I can get you in next door," he said and left.
 
When he returned he said, "I’ll let you use our bathrooms if you promise not to be offended."
 
We both agreed to not be offended. It really takes a lot to offend us.
 
We were buzzed in. Apparently, it was a gentleman’s spa and there were maybe four guys at the bar (keep in mind it was noon) and one was sitting there in his underwear. We were so totally NOT offended. In fact, it was kind of cool.
 
We entered the restroom where there was one stall and two urinals. We took turns using the stall.
 
While I was washing my hands, one of the guys in the bar yelled, "Hey girls – what’s taking you so long?"
 
I yelled back, "you can come in if you promise not to be offended."
 
Hee hee. Two can play at that game. 🙂
 
Blog 4: Peeing in a cup.
 
I had to pee in a cup today. Apparently I’m old enough to have to do a urinalysis and fasting blood tests with my annual checkup.
 
The nurse gave me the key to the washroom (not in the lab but down the hall by the elevators), a pee cup AND a test tube. I had to pee in the cup and then transfer some, but not all, of my pee from the cup to the test tube. That’s much more pee handling than I normally like to do. But in true virgo fashion, I did an excellent job. Very neat and tidy.
 
And I was very pleased with my urine colour. It was very pretty – not too yellow.
 
Then I walked it back to the lab and put it in the urine sample box. Unfortunately, I was the first one tested that day so my pee was alone in the box. I like to see the other samples and compare them to mine. I like to feel urine superiority.
 
Us with Elvis         Me in London          ROTC in London
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Categories: LGBT, ROTC

So many blogs… so little time.

July 3, 2008 2 comments
 
Toronto Pride:
 
Last week was Toronto Pride. Normally, for me to stay away for the evening parties the DS would have to pump me full of Red Bull. This year, I went to Phoenix to give a safety training session during the week leading up to the pride weekend so my internal clock was three hours behind. For 10 days I did not go to bed before 2am Toronto time. This week, I’m really paying for it though. Getting up for work really is difficult. Yikes.
 
The parade was the best yet. We won the Most Fabulous Choreography for the parade. Here is a video that was taken early in the route so there aren’t many observers yet. I already emailed this to some of you so don’t watch it again if I sent it to you. It’s the same video. I’m the marcher in the front and on the right (when looking at me from behind).
 
 
After the parade, we hung around on Church St and people watched. At one point, RY and I decided to share a funnel cake so we got in line. We were in line for almost an hour and when we were two people from the front of the line, the vendor told us that they ran out of propane and it would take 20 minutes to get another tank. Of course. We decided that we were not meant to have funnel cake.
 
Instead, we went to a restaurant for beer and real food. We stayed there until about 2am. RY kept going to the bathroom and complaining because they were filthy. Then I would go 10 minutes later and they would be freshly cleaned. This happened twice at the same restaurant. We were also swarmed with nice partiers who were telling us how beautiful we were all night. They were great fun and very sweet. One gentleman, Michael, who I assumed to be gay but could be wrong, told me I was beautiful and asked if I were 100% lesbian. I said yes. Then he asked to sit on my lap so he could talk to RY. I let him because, hey, it’s Pride. He then told her she was beautiful and asked if she was 100% lesbian. She said yes. I love Pride. I’m adding them as friends to my Facebook… if I can find the piece of paper I wrote her name on… there was a lot happening that day – I can’t keep track of everything.
 
Luckily, I took Monday off and Tuesday was a holiday so I had time  to recover from the madness.
 
A Good Thing About RY:
 
She vacuumed my place on Monday! Can you believe that? And she actually seemed to enjoy it. I so hate to vacuum. God bless her.
 
And I do not have a pic of RY yet that I can show you. Oddly, we didn’t take any at Pride. But we’re going up to Algonquin so we’ll take some pics then. (RY rented a luxury cottage for her parents for their anniversay and they gave it back to her for her and I to use. Sweet! I’ve never been. I’m so excited.)
 
Homeowner Pain:
 
I finally have some spare cash so, of course, my dishwasher crapped out. Sigh. Last year I had to get a new stove, this year is dishwasher. Do refrigerators die?
 
I also had something else I wanted to mention, but can’t remember what.
 

I’m gayer than I look.

June 20, 2008 2 comments
 
Earlier this month I attended a straight soccer buddy’s wedding. It was very hot. In fact, it was the day after the Streetsville parade.
 
At the reception, a different soccer buddy’s husband sat beside me. I have been with the team for about 5 years and he’s been to a good number of the games – probably all the home games. Plus he has seen me perform at three different Brampton Santa Claus parades with my flag twirling group, "the Righteously Outrageous Twirling Corp".
 
At the reception he asked me how the Streetsville parade went. I told him it was REALLY hot. Way to hot to twirl in fact.
 
He said, "Couldn’t you have just not showed up? It’s not like you get paid for this."
 
I replied, "Actually, we DO get paid for it. It’s just the pride parades we don’t get paid for."
 
Then there was this pause as he looked a little nervous and shy and then said very cautiously, "you mean…. the… homosexual pride parades?"
 
He he. Who uses the word "homosexual" anymore?
 
I said, "yes, the gay pride parades".
 
He said, "how do you switch back and forth?"
 
Oh my. I told him we were a gay group then asked if he noticed the rainbow flags on our truck. He said he hadn’t. Poor man didn’t have a clue I was gay. And I was sitting there beside him wearing a shirt, tie and vest.
 
Well, I guess he’s a step ahead of my great-auntie Jean. He knows I’m female…. I think.

The universe provides.

June 10, 2008 Leave a comment
 
Some members of my ROTC group stayed over at my place on Friday so that they were closer to the place we were going to be parading Saturday morning. Since it was freaking hot, they asked if I had ice cubes for their beverages. I did not. Here’s my philosophy on ice cubes:
 
I don’t use them. So if I fill trays with water, they take up fridge space and then eventually evaporate away until there is nothing in the tray but a white residue. God knows what the white residue is from. Then one day, I will need ice and think "hey – I have ice cubes" only to open the fridge and see empty trays. So essentially it’s better that I don’t have any ice cubes at all rather than have a false sense of ice cube security.
 
ROTC made me make ice cubes. They did not use them though.
 
The parade was brutal by the way. WAAAAAAAY too friggin hot to twirl a flag. I’m hoping there are no videos on youtube. It sure wasn’t pretty.
 
On Monday, I had a lady friend over. She brought red wine (because I do not have alcohol in the house).
 
Please note that she didn’t bring over wine because she’s an alcoholic, it’s because she was experiencing some menstrual cramps and she says that red wine helps. I’m sure it’s like ‘medicinal pot’. If I were a red wine drinker, I wouldn’t have needed a hysterectomy.
 
Anyway, as I’m pouring her wine she asks "do you have ice cubes?" Apparently she likes ice cubes in her red wine.
 
And thanks to ROTC, I do have ice cubes. God bless those flag twirling gays.

Rear-ended by two dykes, but not in a good way.

April 21, 2008 Leave a comment
 
My flag twirling group had to go to Goderich Saturday night to be there for Sunday for a rehearsal. A portion of our routine was being choreographed by a dance instructor (who used to be in colour guard) at his dance studio. Goderich (pop. 8000) is on Lake Huron, is a 3hr drive from Toronto and has two sunsets. And a lot of people who have never seen gays before.
 
As I had to take 6 people and 15 pieces of equipment (ie: fags and flags), I could not drive my Nissan Versa. Rather than rent a vehicle, I swapped cars with a co-worker who owns a big Dodge Durango. Not only can it fit all of us and our gear, it has a DVD player for entertainment. Although, the DVD in it was "Rescue Rangers" as my co-worker has two kids under 10.
 
Friday after work, we did the swap. She got my zippy and easy to parallel park Versa, and I got her SUV, which although roomy, had the maneuverability of a small tank. And it costs $100 to fill. I don’t know how she does it with the salary my company pays.
 
Saturday, I had to drive on the Gardiner to get to the village where I had to pick up flag twirlers. I was motoring along when I noticed everyone in front of me was slamming on their brakes for no good reason. So I did too. The car behind me – not so much.
 
Luckily, I was in a tank and sustained no damage. The car that hit me was smooshed. Radiator fluid everywhere. We exchanged info, I called my co-worker to let her know what happened, I rendezvoused with my twirlers (and I was still on time – how virgo is that?).
 
The women who hit me were a very nice lesbian couple. I’m wondering if I should call them and ask if they want to be friends. They may know a cute, single femme…
 
And for the record, 6 hours of flag twirling is a lot of flag twirling. I can’t move today.
Categories: LGBT, ROTC

Twirling is not for the meek.

February 11, 2008 Leave a comment
 
I went to my flag twirling rehearsal on Sunday. We are learning our new summer routine. It’s very faggy. It also involves many tosses. While practicing a toss, the flag came down a little too quickly and a little too close to my face. It whacked me in the nose.
 
My nose still hurts today. Very much. It didn’t bleed, I don’t have black eyes, there isn’t even swelling. But it hurts like a bitch.
 
Flag twirling sounds like a pretty sport. It sounds innocuous. But it’s lethal. Don’t even get me started on why I have to wear steel toe boots when doing rifle twirling.
 
And for the record, I’ve never gotten injured at boxing. Go figure. Beware gay sports.
Categories: ROTC

Christmas twirling

December 6, 2007 Leave a comment
 
Here is a link to a video of the Streetsville Santa Claus Parade. Streetsville is a part of Mississauga (about 10 minutes north of my place).
 
We marched in this parade last weekend in November and we occur at about the 2:30 point in the video. It’s not too interesting in terms of a splashy routine but we are actually in synch, which is rare.
 
And yes, in true flaming fashion – it’s a Cher song.
 
Categories: ROTC