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The old bait and switch routine

November 19, 2012 Leave a comment

I was first introduced to my wife via that internet thingamajig. When I saw her photo I thought, ‘now that woman likely teaches Kindergarten and makes quiches.’ Very wholesome thoughts ran through my head.

Then I later met her in person and discovered that this woman does not teach kindergarten, nor does she make quiche. She is the deadliest of all women: the femme fatale. And she mixes a mean chocolate martini.

So of course, I did what any boring, nerdy, Virgo engineer would do. I married her.

We have told the story about how wholesome and quiche-like she seemed to be and everyone laughs. I get mocked relentlessly for being so naive.

But the joke’s on you. Last weekend, she made me quiche.

Brought to you by the letter P… and possibly the letters TMI

November 5, 2012 3 comments

I’ve been struggling with endometriosis for ages. I had surgery in January to get rid of the last bit of internal organ that could contribute to the endo pain but the pain still returned. Another surgery was scheduled for November 1 (ie: last week).

I consulted with an endo specialist (thanks to the wife recommending I seek a second opinion) and the endo specialist strongly recommended against the November surgery and instead suggested a specialized form of physiotherapy for reducing the adhesion and scar tissue effects. So that is what we did.

At my first physio appointment, she asked me to keep a 4 day log of my bladder output – how often and how much.

Now, I’m an old lady who has had three abdominal surgeries. It showed in my log. I produced only 25mL-100mL each time. Once I hit the motherload with 200mL. ┬áIt was very depressing. I asked my family doc what was “normal” and she said 250-300mL.

Those of you who know my wife know how competitive she can be. She would read my log every day and check my progress. Then one day, I received the following photo in a text message from her. She produced over 300mL and the accompanying text message said “and I wasn’t even trying!”

Showoff.

My wife’s bladder is an overachiever.