Archive for March, 2011

Now I’m officially old.

March 30, 2011 Leave a comment

I have the radio on while I work.  An ad came on with a woman complaining that she felt too old for the other clubs. But at last, she found a club just for her and her age group. So I perk up thinking, maybe there’s a club for people who want to dance and enjoy music and be home by 11pm…

The announcer voiceover kicks in advertising the “Devil’s Martini” for the mature, sophisticated, professional crowd.

This crowd is 25-30 years old.

I am going to start a club call the “Devil’s Metamucil” for the more mature, more sophisticated and counting-the-days-until-retirement crowd.

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My morning with David, the philosopher.

March 13, 2011 Leave a comment

This Sunday morning, my wife had a Board Retreat at the Delta hotel in downtown Toronto. I drove her to the hotel and then went to the lobby to enjoy a quiet morning reading and surfing the web.

While reading my book (an 858 page tome called “Swan Song”), a gentleman approached me and asked if I were going to the Melissa Etheridge concert. Mildly offended but polite as usual, I told him I wasn’t but that friends were seeing her in Kitchener.

He asked if he could sit down and join me. I offered him a seat on the lobby couch beside me.

He introduced himself as David, 55 years of age, and asked me my name. (He would ask me four more times during the conversation.)

During this conversation, he regaled me with tales of his work. He was in “international sales of recreational pharmaceuticals”. His work took him throughout Europe and South America. He’s been to Argentina 22 times (incarcerated there for 6 years).

He was a very entertaining storyteller with a degree in Philosophy. He made notes for me in my book explaining the three important truths in life:

1. What exists?
2. How do we know?
3. So what? (or in his words: so f-ing what?)

The first concept then breaks down into three axioms:

1. A = A
2. Either/or
3. Non-contradiction

I then asked him how those three are different as they seem redundant to me. His eyes lit up with glee as he said “Yes! Exactly!”

He further described the Either/or concept as “you can be one thing or another” using several examples such as “you can be heterosexual or homosexual” (trying to speak to me as a queer person, I suppose). After several either/or examples, I said “so you’re saying everything is binary?”  (I know all my more enlightened readers are cringing at that conclusion.) To which he replied, “Yes! Exactly!” and wrote that down in my book. “Everything is BINARY”

The “so what” further breaks down into art, ethics and politics of which he only described art, which is a selective presentation of reality according to the artist.

Over the course of the 90 minutes, he stopped only to take a drink from the mouth wash bottle he had up his sleeve  –  he was a self proclaimed “alcoholic and drug addict” (he had the nicest breath) – and to say hi to a young woman who entered the hotel. After his exchange with her he turned to me and apologized for “mowing on my grass” – I assured him that as a married woman, I am not interested in other lawns.

All of David’s stories whether they be about getting held at arrow point in the rain forest, held at gun point in Newfoundland, skiing in Switzerland or going through immigration in Brazil with several “kilos” strapped to his chest, were themed with his “favourite F word: FUN”… oh and “keeping an eye on his perimeter”.

The only times we deviated from FUN was when the subject of his wife (deceased) came up. He would tear up, apologize and say he needed to be more of a tough guy. I told him that tough guys cried. He said that was brilliant then wrote it in my book. “Tough guys cry.”

So now I have a pocketbook covered in David’s wisdom. He filled about four pages before hotel security escorted him out. 

I wonder what I would have learned if he had a flip chart to write on.

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I’m not as much of a slacker as you think I am.

March 11, 2011 Leave a comment

I was hoping that this year I would be a better blogger. I had gotten a little negligent recently due to my busy lifestyle with the wife.  After all, how much blogging can you fit in when planning a wedding during a job change?

Sadly, I am not finding much more time to blog now. My last blog was last month or maybe January (I can’t look at it without exiting this page).

What gives me hope is that I checked some friends’ blog sites: Adele has not blogged since Feb 19, Jenn has not blogged since Jan 14, Matt not since Jan 4 and Zoltar (pseudonym, of course) since March 2010! Likely the only person who has blogged recently is Miss J from ROTC. But I’m having trouble accessing his site today so I can’t tell exactly when his last blog was.

So really, I blogged today. I win.

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