Home > The Wife (previously RY) > The metric system is not working.

The metric system is not working.

Monday night I’m driving home from work and I get a call from RY who is at home. She is calling to find out when I’ll be home because apparently  there is a bug in the laundry room.
Normally when I see a bug, I try to see if the cats will eat it. When Riley is with me, I’ll point at the bug and go "Riley! Eat the bug!" Sadly, she doesn’t understand that I’m pointing AT something. She thinks I want her to sniff my finger. Zeke is better. When I point at a bug, he’ll look at the bug. But he won’t eat it. He’ll sniff it and give it a cautious paw and watch it disappear into the baseboards. Then he’ll watch the hole in the baseboard for 10 minutes waiting for the bug to come out again. One of his favourite things to do recently is jump in the tub and watch the drain for half an hour. I’m wondering what he saw go down there.
Anyway, RY calls to tell me there’s a bug I have to kill in the laundry room. It’s an emergency because "it’s over a metre long!"
I can’t believe she is still even in the building with a bug over a metre long. I ask, "are you sure it’s a metre?" She replies, quite agitatedly, "YES!!!! IT’S A METRE LONG!" That seems odd and somewhat scary.
"Do you know what a metre is?"
"Yes I know, come home quickly!!!!"
"Where is the bug now?"
"I’ve trapped it under the Javex bottle."
OK. The Javex bottle is maybe 30cm in diameter. I’m thinking the bug is not a metre long.
I get home and go into the basement armed with a wad of paper towel. How much do you need for a one metre bug?
I lift the Javex bottle. Underneath is a wee black bug, approximately 1 cm long.
I would have moved it outside for sanctuary but I figured it was pretty traumatized by the crazy lady yelling at it so I put it out of its misery. At least it died thinking it was one metre long. That had to be good for its little bug ego.
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