Home > LGBT > I offended Elvira Kurt

I offended Elvira Kurt

I know I’m really behind in my blogging so I’m trying to catch up. I’ll write a blog every couple of days that I have time to catch up. Here’s one I should have written in September:
 
RY’s BFF had a big anniversary for her workplace, which was celebrating its 20th anniversary. For this event, she booked a conference type room for dinner and Elvira Kurt for the after dinner entertainment. For those of you who don’t know Canadian Queer commediennes, she is a Canadian Queer commedienne. She had her own show on the Comedy Network for a while.
 
Since we were friends with the organizer, we got to sit in the front table closest to the stage and talk to Elvira before her set. It was all going very well.
 
Then the unthinkable happened. About 5 minutes into her routine, my stomach decided it didn’t like the food it just ate and I had to race to the restroom. I ducked down as best as possible and ran out the door. You had to know that kind of thing is just asking for trouble.
 
After about 20 minutes, when my tummy settled, I came back into the conference room. I entered the back door thinking I’d just hang out in the back and if I had to leave again, I could escape without attracting any attention. That was an unfortunate miscalculation.
 
She saw me come in. She heckled me (which was totally expected). Unfortunately, she wouldn’t let me stand there. She made me come back up to my seat in the front. You can see where this is going. Yes, I had to leave again. But this time, I refused. I figured I’d wait until she turned her back to get a drink of water off her stool or just hold everything in. How hard could it be? Mind over body.
 
RY could hear my stomach gurgling and see me squirming in my seat. She kept telling me to go to the restroom. I stoutly refused to go. This continued for about 10 minutes.
 
Finally, I could take it no longer! I ran from the room apologizing as I went. She didn’t like my apology. RY said she was calling me rude. I heard nothing because I was sprinting.
 
I stayed away until RY came and rescued me from the restroom. Luckily, I had my work blackberry so I played Brick Attack until the show was over and I could return to my seat. And because I got such a reaction, no one else dared leave the room to pee so there was a large herd of people coming toward the restroom as I left it. They all were very nice and asked how I was feeling. I was feeling much better thank you very much.
 
And when I got back, Elvira profusely apologized for giving me such a hard time and seemed to feel quite badly about it all. I wondered where the change in attitude came from. Apparently, RY gave her some sass for heckling me when I was obviously ill. Apparently RY does a good guilt trip. She’ll make an excellent mother.
 
That was my brush with local celebrity. Could have been worse, I suppose. I could have vomited on her.
 
 
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Categories: LGBT
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