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Archive for June, 2008

I’m gayer than I look.

June 20, 2008 2 comments
 
Earlier this month I attended a straight soccer buddy’s wedding. It was very hot. In fact, it was the day after the Streetsville parade.
 
At the reception, a different soccer buddy’s husband sat beside me. I have been with the team for about 5 years and he’s been to a good number of the games – probably all the home games. Plus he has seen me perform at three different Brampton Santa Claus parades with my flag twirling group, "the Righteously Outrageous Twirling Corp".
 
At the reception he asked me how the Streetsville parade went. I told him it was REALLY hot. Way to hot to twirl in fact.
 
He said, "Couldn’t you have just not showed up? It’s not like you get paid for this."
 
I replied, "Actually, we DO get paid for it. It’s just the pride parades we don’t get paid for."
 
Then there was this pause as he looked a little nervous and shy and then said very cautiously, "you mean…. the… homosexual pride parades?"
 
He he. Who uses the word "homosexual" anymore?
 
I said, "yes, the gay pride parades".
 
He said, "how do you switch back and forth?"
 
Oh my. I told him we were a gay group then asked if he noticed the rainbow flags on our truck. He said he hadn’t. Poor man didn’t have a clue I was gay. And I was sitting there beside him wearing a shirt, tie and vest.
 
Well, I guess he’s a step ahead of my great-auntie Jean. He knows I’m female…. I think.

Working out works.. sort of.

June 20, 2008 Leave a comment
 
 
I have been working out at the gym by work. I haven’t noticed any weight loss and in fact, the gym scale says I’ve been gaining a lb a week (impossible because my pants fit the same and there’s no way I’m making a lb of muscle a week). I’m not going to weigh myself on the gym scales anymore.
 
Anyway, my boxing coach makes us do a plank every week for abdominal strength. Due to my parade schedule, I have not been to boxing in a month or so. I will start going again in July. Normally, I don’t do plank well. My abs have been wacky since my hysterectomy. I do 10 second planks.
 
Wednesday, I decided to try a plank at the gym. I did 30 seconds. I was very pleased with myself.
 
This morning, I did a plank again just to ensure it wasn’t a fluke on Wednesday. It wasn’t. 30 seconds!
 
I’ll be fit in no time. But according to the gym scales, I’ll weigh a lot more.

A blog about food and drink.

June 19, 2008 Leave a comment
One of my field techs from our U.S. office drove an inspection truck up to our office here in Mississauga for repairs. He told me that while he was inspecting a line in Denver, he picked up a six pack of a fabulous local beer. Of course, HE didn’t use the word fabulous because he’s a straight construction worker.
 
Unfortunately, he said the beer didn’t quite make the drive up to Canada. He drank it. (And, no, not while driving.)
 
He did say that if I send him on the Mexico inspection, he’ll bring me tequilla. That will be awesome… or I’ll have one really hammered field tech.
 
On another topic:
 
A year or so ago, I tried roti. I didn’t like it. It looked like a wrap that is portable and that you should eat with your hands. The DS and her kids eat it exactly like that. They are successful. I found that because the meat was still on the bone, I had to debone the chicken while I ate it and that’s a task I really need to be sitting down with a fork and knife for. So the roti was false in its portability. I do not like being fooled by my dinner.
 
On Wednesday, the new woman, let’s call her RY (short for "rebel yell" and it’s too long and lame a story to explain why and NO, there is nothing sexual about it – get your mind out of the gutter) – anyway, RY bought me a roti from a restaurant called the Big Jerk or the Happy Jerk or something like that. This roti did not have any bones and it was served to me with a fork and knife. I like this roti. It sat on the plate and had no pretense whatsoever of being portable. Perfect.
 
And RY wrapped up the leftovers, put it in a bag with a bottle of Ting and let me take it for lunch. God bless her. Now if I could only teach her to be topless when she brings my beer, I’ll be set.  

The universe provides.

June 10, 2008 Leave a comment
 
Some members of my ROTC group stayed over at my place on Friday so that they were closer to the place we were going to be parading Saturday morning. Since it was freaking hot, they asked if I had ice cubes for their beverages. I did not. Here’s my philosophy on ice cubes:
 
I don’t use them. So if I fill trays with water, they take up fridge space and then eventually evaporate away until there is nothing in the tray but a white residue. God knows what the white residue is from. Then one day, I will need ice and think "hey – I have ice cubes" only to open the fridge and see empty trays. So essentially it’s better that I don’t have any ice cubes at all rather than have a false sense of ice cube security.
 
ROTC made me make ice cubes. They did not use them though.
 
The parade was brutal by the way. WAAAAAAAY too friggin hot to twirl a flag. I’m hoping there are no videos on youtube. It sure wasn’t pretty.
 
On Monday, I had a lady friend over. She brought red wine (because I do not have alcohol in the house).
 
Please note that she didn’t bring over wine because she’s an alcoholic, it’s because she was experiencing some menstrual cramps and she says that red wine helps. I’m sure it’s like ‘medicinal pot’. If I were a red wine drinker, I wouldn’t have needed a hysterectomy.
 
Anyway, as I’m pouring her wine she asks "do you have ice cubes?" Apparently she likes ice cubes in her red wine.
 
And thanks to ROTC, I do have ice cubes. God bless those flag twirling gays.

People you don’t want to run into at the gym.

June 4, 2008 Leave a comment
 
I was working out Monday morning and I said to the guy on the ab machine next to me, "hey show off – you’re doing that at 3X the weight I was".
 
He laughs and replies, "do you work at <insert my company name here>?"
 
I am stunned. I am not in a line of work that has local customers and I rarely come in contact with the customers we do have. Really, only five people in Ontario should be able to recognise me from work.
 
Turns out, I interviewed him for a GIS Analyst position over a year ago. I did not hire him. How awkward.