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Archive for December, 2006

and for the record…

December 28, 2006 Leave a comment
 
I did NOT steal that toilet paper from work. I didn’t think I had to explicitly SAY that I got permission to take some home because I assumed that people knew I had absolutely flawless integrity.
 
But apparently there are people in the world that assume the worst of humanity and therefore that I must have STOLEN the tp from work.
 
So for those pessimists: I asked to take a roll of toilet paper home. I was given permission to do so. I did NOT however claim it at customs. I did once claim 18 Jack in the Box antenna balls though.
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Poll: lame or charming & whimsical – you decide.

December 26, 2006 3 comments
 
Here’s the story:
 
I was in Phoenix in November. I go to Phoenix a lot. A LOT. While there, my company put me in a furnished apartment instead of a hotel. The maid we hired to clean the apartment between workers put the cheapest toilet paper ever in the bathrooms. It was one ply and so darn dry and scratchy that you had to put hand lotion on after using it.
 
In the Phoenix office, however, was the best, softest, comforting toilet paper I’ve ever experienced. It was heaven on a cardboard tube. If you had this tp in your home, you would never buy kleenex.
 
I decided that I would bring back a roll for the DS as a souvenir from my trip to Phoenix, because really, who wants a tacky tourism souvenir? They are mass produced in China and are available in every major city across North America. All they do is change the name on the front.
 
This gift was also extremely thoughtful because:
 
1. it is something that she will definitely use
2. it is nothing she has to dust
3. it’s nothing she has to save and put out every time I visit to pretend she likes it (although, trust me, if she doesn’t like it – she won’t pretend to)
4. it’s an example of how I am thinking of her comfort
5. it’s different and thoughtful – not something standard that every tom, dick and harry pick up for their women
6. one size fits all!
 
So I thought it was a delightful, whimsical, charming way to show I was thinking of her during my Phoenix trip.
 
She did not.
 
I polled my family around the Christmas dinner table, and they agreed it wasn’t a good gift idea. Although I’m not sure how much I trust their gift giving advice as my brother DID buy me a cookbook for Christmas and we all know from my November blogs that I don’t cook.
 
What do you think?
Categories: Uncategorized

More about Edmonton.

December 24, 2006 Leave a comment
 
So I drive into downtown Edmonton today to meet some fort friends for brunch. Two observations:
 
1. There was a sign on a building on Jasper Ave (the main downtown street) that said "Condos from $90,000". Holy smokes that’s cheap.
2. The old paramount movie theatre, which looks like an old movie theatre, is now the ‘City Centre Church’. That’s so wrong.
 
But happily, the parking in front of the restaurant was FREE! That’s right folks: downtown parking was absolutely free. And if I so wanted to, I could have parked there longer than three hours. Absolute heaven.
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Pic of the kitten.

December 22, 2006 1 comment
 
Because my co-worker requested it: here is the kitten.

Reasons why I love Edmonton.

December 22, 2006 1 comment
 
1. OK – the first reason is this article in the Toronto Star on a west Edmonton liquor store. Essentially, the owners of this liquor store have decided to take Canadian Tire money as currency. They won’t take 5- or 10-cent denominations and they will only accept up to $50 worth on a single purchase, but still, that’s brilliant. And VERY Canadian. Well done.
 
2. The weather (knock wood). It’s been above zero and there’s two feet of snow on the ground. Perfect. The highways look a little dirty from the sanding crews, but what can you do? Safety first.
 
3. Food. mmm…. food. Lunch at my grandmother’s, steak dinner out with Aunty Lynne, dark chocolate covered almonds in the cupboard. And it’s only just beginning!
 
4. A gym nearby. And yesterday, they let me in for free. They really like my mom and aunt so I get to reap the benefits. This gym also has a massage therapist ($20/hr cheaper than the one I went to in Etobicoke) and I have an appointment for 1:30pm today. I can’t wait. Most people have abs of steel – I currently have an upper back of steel. Not good.
 
5. Traffic, or lack thereof. My dad was complaining about the traffic on the QEWII (formerly known as Hwy 2 to Calgary). I just had to laugh. That’s not traffic.
 
6. Big screen tv with satellite. God love my parents’ rec room.
 
7. My mom’s crazy new kitten. Crazy and spastic like new kittens are. Unfortunately, she hasn’t mastered the art of licking herself clean after the litterbox so mom, dad and I spent an exciting family moment yesterday holding her down and cutting some matted fur off her butt. They don’t put pictures of this in kitten calendars.
 
Although there is one bad thing about Edmonton: the grocery carts cost a dollar. Can you believe that? Grocery bastards are gouging us. I guess it’s because it’s very hard work to push the cart through the snow so they make it worth our while.
 
Oh and of course, I miss the DS. What’s Christmas without a gemini femme?
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This is why I usually pick her up at the GO Train station.

December 18, 2006 Leave a comment
 
On Friday night, the DS took the GO Train to my house. In the evening, she tried to arrange for her 14 yr old to spend the night at his friend’s home so she could spend the night at my home. This would be very convenient because:
 
a. I wouldn’t have to drive her home Friday night, then drive myself home.
b. She wouldn’t have to drive to my place Saturday morning for boxing.
 
We would save effort and gasoline and the environment. Everyone is happy.
 
Sadly, arrangements for babysitting fell through and the DS had to go home.
 
Rather than have me drive her home and come back and have her drive back in the morning, she offered to drive herself home in my car and then bring the car back in the morning. Even though it is my brand spanking new car, I agreed. It was a very generous offer as it meant I could just go immediately to bed.
 
All night, I slept peacefully, knowing she is a good driver and very responsible. I could trust her with my car.
 
In the morning, she walked in my front door and the first words out of her mouth were "ooh your car performs well!" This isn’t a phrase that comforts me. Nor should it: apparently, my car can do 150 km/h on the 401. Ack!
Categories: Uncategorized

You’ll never guess what’s in my car…

December 13, 2006 2 comments
 
I have my office Christmas party tonight. It’s in Etobicoke (that’s pronounced eh-TOE-bi-KOE for non-Torontonians). It’s the south-western area of Toronto and it’s a bit downscale. Not white trash downscale, but everyday suburbia downscale, especially compared with the brash, cosmopolitan, rush-rush, uppity nature of downtown TO.
 
Anyway, it’s a casual attire event. I’m wearing jeans. They may even have a hole in them (but not anywhere that anyone should be looking).
 
The DS (as a gemini femme) is wearing something classier. She’s dressing up. Fine. She’s a beautiful woman who likes to wear beautiful things. I’m certainly not going to complain about that. (Although she’s told me her colour scheme and I’ve been told to wear something that will compliment those colours. That limits me somewhat, although not as much as if she told me she was wearing pink. I have nothing that compliments pink.)
 
Unfortunately, dressing up for something requires preparation. In this case, she wants new shoes. The three pairs of shoes she has tried on in the last two days (fluevogs, of course) were over $200 per pair. One pair was over $300. It’s been shoe insanity.
 
Additionally, she wants me to bring her skirt and belt and purse to her from my place. That, also, was fine. Until I found out that the purse is a "Paloma Picasso". This purse originally retailed for $1200 back when the DS was with her rich exhusband. Can you believe it? A purse for $1200! That’s completely insane. I could buy a very nicely outfitted computer at Dell for $1200.
 
Sadly, the purse is now considered ‘vintage’ and will only fetch <$200 re-sale. That is NOT enough for a computer from Dell. But it may almost be enough to buy her fluevog shoes…
 
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