Women take a lot of time.

On Saturday, I was scheduled to meet a female friend at 10 am for brunch. This friend did not show up at the restaurant until 10:40 am so I sat waiting at the table, looking like I’d been jilted for a very long time. I hadn’t brought a book and waiting really pisses me off. Refer to my likes/dislikes list at the side for support of this.
 
After brunch, I was to pick up Stella at her place. She knew I was going for brunch and would be done at noon at which point, I would be coming to her place. She called my cell phone at noon to ask if I was on my way. I said I was. She said she hadn’t showered yet. I told her she better shower then. I also knew that she would be expecting me in approximately 20 minutes, but that I would actually be later because there’s no way in hell she’ll be showered and ready in 20 minutes. She’s femme. I know this from experience so I know I should be a little later than expected.
 
So I get to Stella’s at 1 pm. That gave her a whole hour – forty minutes more than she was supposed to get. She answers the door in a towel (at least her hair was wet so she had showered already). She was not ready. She made me wait. And to add insult to injury, she made me take her dog out for his ‘business’ when she had a perfectly good girlfriend sitting in the living room who could have done it. And I do think that it’s the current gf’s responsibility to care for her dog, not mine (the exgf who never liked the dog in the first place).
 
Next time, I’m not picking her up – she can take the damned streetcar.
 
After hanging with Stella, I go to the DS’s place. We hang out. The next morning, we are scheduled to go to Rattlesnake Point to hike and then to Chudleigh’s to pick our own apples. How very autumn-like.
 
This is how a femme dresses:
 
1. Put on bra, shirt and jeans. Walk around in jeans, obviously not happy with them, but not sure what to do about it. Walk around some more.
2. Take jeans off. Look for more jeans.
3. Put on shorts. These are not the right shorts for the shirt and another pair would be better but they are all packed for winter. (Who knew we’d have this last minute Indian Summer?)
4. Take off shirt. Take off bra. No wait, put bra back on. Take off shorts.
5. Put different shirt on.
6. Put different jeans on.
 
This is how a boi dresses:
 
1. What did I wear yesterday?
 
Then we hauled half her couch from outside to the basement. Well, almost to the basement. We hauled it into the front entrance, played with it for 25 minutes, took 15 minutes to take the door off the hinges, played with the couch for another 10 minutes, then said ‘screw it’ and put the couch in the garage. Then we put the door on the hinges and left.
 
By this time, we were so hungry (her from all the wardrobe decisions, me from watching) we had to go to Quiznos for the traditional thankgiving angus beef sub. And since it was thanksgiving, we also had a blizzard from DQ. We skipped hiking at Rattlesnake Point and got to Chudleigh’s half an hour after they closed. We went to my place, watched some ‘Flip This House’ and fell asleep at 9 pm.
 
Apparently waiting for femmes makes me tired.
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