Archive for August, 2006

Obsolescence blows.

August 31, 2006 Leave a comment
Not only is ‘obsolescence’ a hard word to spell, it completely sucks! I have a great calendar on my fridge and I want to get one for my office. It’s exactly perfect and I want another one.
I went back to the Staples where I originally bought it and they don’t have any. (But they did have a great deal on my favourite pens!)
I went online to see if I could track them down and order them in from ANYWHERE (the original supplier is in Concord, ON but has merged with ACCO). I’ve been looking for about 40 minutes and can’t find them.
Life changes fast enough without me having to find another calendar I like. It took me five years to find this one. (And this one is actually in French because they were out of the English ones…)
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Boost your ego.

August 31, 2006 Leave a comment
I donated blood yesterday. In preparation, I ate red meat for dinner Mon & Tues night. It worked – no problems with my iron levels this time. They passed with flying colours. (And the nurse who did the check was adorable – but str8 of course.)
Anyway, the entire time I was there, all the staff were incredibly friendly, doting on me every second and thanking me profusely. Either they are getting paid by the number of kind words they say, or I’m awesome. he he.
So if you want some attention and need to be around people who seem to worship you for no particular reason, go donate some blood.
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Oh… my…. gawd….

August 28, 2006 Leave a comment
So they have old Ellen re-runs on channel 54. I’m watching one from the first season. Ellen has very bad 80’s hair. Scary in fact.
Anyway, one of the main characters is the actress who played Janice (Chandler’s gf with the really nasal voice) on Friends. In Ellen, she doesn’t have that voice at all. It’s completely normal. And I can’t handle it. It’s so wrong. Sounds like she’s faking it. Not that I would know what a woman sounds like when she’s faking it… None of my women ever had to fake it… I think… hmm… this blog has suddenly turned ugly.
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August 28, 2006 Leave a comment
So I’m watching the Emmy’s last night. Grey’s Anatomy didn’t win anything. I can’t imagine why that is. That show is positively gripping. The Sopranos is a typical mafia tv show that has been much the same for, what, 6 years?
I’m terribly annoyed. It doesn’t get any better than Grey’s Anatomy.
And I’ve parked my car crooked today. It’s really bothering me.
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Goodbye soccer!

August 27, 2006 1 comment
I have been playing soccer most of my life. I took a break when I started university until I was about 28 as I was busy in school, at the fort and playing softball.
Once I came back to soccer, I found I liked it a lot and played even when I was in California. Moving to Toronto was good because they have an indoor soccer facility fairly close to work and at one point, I was playing on five teams. It was awesome.
Now I’m not sure what happened, but I just don’t have the passion for it that I once had. Between my lack of passion and all the trips to Phoenix I’ve had to take this year, I’ve attended about half my games. That’s not good – missing all those games means I’ve missed all that practice and experience and my skills are eroding.
Also, I find in my old age, I don’t heal as quickly as I used to and my primary concern has become the attempt to avoid injury. That’s not a good trait in a keeper. Keepers need to be a little crazy.
So anyway, I have decided that I am going to stop playing soccer and try to do more sports that:
1. are non-contact so I don’t risk some whacko getting overzealous about scoring and hurting me
2. give me more of a workout (being the keeper for a soccer team is NOT good exercise)
3. do not have 10:45 pm games on a weeknight
4. people don’t rely on me to show up so work can send me places and I don’t feel guilty about letting the team down
And I have to do this quickly because the DS’s bad habit of dark chocolate and beer (yes, she’s very health conscious, but the chocolate and beer are just too good to avoid sometimes and on her wee wee body, you just don’t see the beer!) have caused me to put on a few pounds this summer. I have to get rid of those pounds, plus a few more I’ve been hanging on to since, um, 1989 I think.
Anyway, we played our last games of the soccer season yesterday (year end tournament – we lost all three games) and now I’m done. I am not joining any indoor teams this winter.
I’m not sure how this affects my blog title because although the ‘fat’ may be true, the ‘keeper’ is not. (And the ‘fat’ won’t be true for long – watch out – I’m on a workout binge and stopping the chocolate and beer fest. After all, it IS fall and beer is best in the hot hot summer. I may still have some chocolate though…) Maybe I should re-start my Fat Keeper Fitness Challenge blog.
Oh and for those of you who wondered how that went the first time around, when I went for my first annual follow-up appointment after my hysterectomy, I had lost 10 lbs since the surgery, which is good considering most people gain weight and I was not that active in the few months after the surgery. On the other hand, 10 lbs on me can come and go in a month. Sigh.
Wish me luck in my soccer free life. I’m on to new things.

Advice from she who rules the universe.

August 26, 2006 3 comments
I went to my friend Jenn’s blog. As per usual, it hasn’t been updated (although I suppose I’m one to talk – "hey pot, this is the kettle calling. you’re black!")
Anyway, she has some kind of feature that puts a different quotation up every day. Today’s quotation is from Plato. It says:
"Love is a serious mental disease."
No bloody kidding.
I wonder if a lobotomy will solve my dating problems.

My summer vacation.

August 24, 2006 Leave a comment
Last week, the DS and I, her two teenage sons and one teenage son’s friend rented a minivan and drove to Grand Bend, Ontario for a six day vacation. As you can see if you check out the hyperlink to Grand Bend, "the fun never sets" and "there is always something to do in Grand Bend".
Vacation Diary: Day 1
In typical DS fashion, she had us get up at 5am on Friday morning so that we could beat the traffic out of the city. 5am! 5am! If I’m going to work, I don’t get up until 6:20am. But on Day 1, I had to get up at 5am. We don’t call her the DS for nothing, folks.
The cottage itself was built in the 1970’s and not renovated since. Red shag carpet, wood panelling, furniture very similar to what my grandfather had in his apartment. All that was missing was the velvet Elvis.
But the good news was that it had running water, a fire pit and was across the road from the beach. Well, it was across the road and 49 stairs up from the beach.
Oh – and the DS decided the fire pit had an inadequate supply of rocks around it, so we were required to carry two large stones from the beach, up the 49 stairs and across the road to the cottage every time we went.
Vacation Diary: Day 2
I had to go into town to buy firewood, garbage bag tags, beer and a pool noodle. At the store, there was a pop machine. Cans of diet coke (actual diet coke, not diet cola) were fifty cents. Fifty cents!  I was so impressed, I took a picture.
Vacation Diary: Day 3
The DS is not romantic. She insists she’s not romantic. In fact, she gets offended if you suggest she may be romantic. (Visualize her stomping her foot and throwing a femme tantrum at the very thought.)
On Day 3, the kids were sleeping or watching movies or doing something equally teen-like and the DS suggested we go down to the beach and watch the sun set over Lake Huron. It was beautiful. We sat in a tractor tire, entwined together, talking and watching the sun set over the water.
It was beautiful and awesome. But I’m not saying it was romantic. Nor will I point out that it was her idea to do it. I’m not saying anything.
Vacation Diary: Day 4
I would have to say that I ate better on this vacation than I ever do at my place in Mississauga. The DS brought her blender (naturally), her food processor, her rice cooker and her electric skillet – pretty much anything she could plug into a kitchen outlet. The first day we had satay chicken with peanut sauce. The second day, we had jerk chicken. The third day, we had beer butt chicken. The fourth day, we had soft tacos. This is in addition to healthy breakfasts (for us anyway, the teens were never up before noon) and rather nice snacks.
And one afternoon, while we were reading on the beach, she went up to check on the boys (who were napping) and she came back with tea! She brought tea down 49 stairs! She’s so sweet (but not romantic…).
Vacation Diary: Day 5
We went to the Pinery. It’s a campsite and Provincial Park. It also has a number of hiking trails, a gorgeous beach (where someone made a cute sand sculpture of a dog lying down, gnawing on a bone), and Oak Savannah. Apparently, that area has 50% of the world’s remaining Oak Savannah so you should send them money to protect it.  We walked on a 2.5 km hike through it. It reminded me of girl guide hikes only this time I was hiking with a lesbian. Although I suppose it’s entirely possible that one of the girl guides in my group was a lesbian. In fact, if the rumours are true, most of them WERE lesbians. <Aside: I wonder if the DS has a girl guide uniform that still fits…>
Vacation Diary: Day 6
We drove home. We had to reverse the directions that the cottage owner gave us to get back to Toronto. Apparently, we aren’t good at that. We wound up getting lost. But I always wanted to see London, ON anyway.
And a co-worker had lent me her DVD player with multiple screens. It’s specially designed to occupy children on car trips – the monitors slide over the seat backs and there are headphones attached to each monitor so that the adults in the vehicle don’t have to actually listen to the movie. When the co-worker lent me the player, she said "Tim just borrowed it and says he may have left a movie in it." I was hoping it was porn, but it was just "Shrek". Anyway, I put "Kill Bill" in there and those boys were so quiet that we hardly noticed they were in the van. I highly recommend this technique of teen control for road trips.
So that was our trip. Lots of lying on the beach, lots of good food, lots of beer. What more can you ask for? Oh yeah – there was no wireless internet connection so I couldn’t check my work email. Yay!
Now it’s back to the real world: confined space train the trainer course, new market strategic meeting, soccer tournament, rotc board meeting.
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