Archive

Archive for July, 2006

My life truly gets weirder. It does!

July 28, 2006 2 comments
So I’m rooting through my toolbox and I come across… hello, what’s this?… a ziplock freezer bag of weed.
 
I don’t smoke pot, nor have I ever even seen it all loose in a bag like that. Maybe it’s oregano. Or dill. I don’t cook either so who knows?
 
As my toolbox spent about a month at the DS’s home, I ask her about it. Yes, it’s pot. She confiscated it from her teenage son, hid it in my toolbox and forgot to tell me about it. OK.
 
So my mom calls and I tell her about my toolbox discovery. She (who I assume has never smoked pot in her life) says "oh good – can we smoke it when we visit in September?"
 
What?!
 
I pass that message to the DS who then says "oh no – don’t smoke it – I’ll make her cookies." My mom consents to cookies. The DS puts the baggie in my freezer.
 
I HAVE WEED IN MY FREEZER! FOR MY MOTHER!
 
This is so wrong.
Advertisements
Categories: Family

Doesn’t my life get weirder every day?

July 22, 2006 4 comments
So yesterday, I was scheduled to meet Stella for our ballroom dance class at 6:30 pm in the gaybourhood. Since I was done work at 4:15 pm, I made arrangements to meet the DS for a beer on a patio at 5:00 pm. (She had to be in the ‘hood to meet a friend of hers later that evening so we would both be able to kill time before meeting our respective co-horts.)
 
While drinking with the DS, Stella calls to ask if we want to go to some band performance in Dundas Square. We decide to go. So instead of attending dance class, the three of us are hanging around downtown Toronto, wandering around Eaton Centre and then walking back to the ‘hood to meet the DS’s friend.
 
On the way, Stella tells us that she must do 3 Random Acts of Outrageousness this summer. As the DS is naturally prone to outrageousness, Stella figures that she may have some ideas.
 
Exactly 28 seconds later, I find myself sitting between Stella and the DS on pervert’s row at a strip club on Yonge St. (And paying $20 for two bottles of water and a diet coke, might I add.) This qualifies as ‘outrageous’ for Stella, but I was thinking she should have put a $5 bill in her bra for the stripper to pull out with her teeth. THAT would have qualified as outrageous.
 
And in typical femme behaviour, within two minutes, Stella and the DS are discussing wardrobe with the waitress. (Their corsets are provided by the club but they have to pay for their own stockings.)
 
Today’s tip, as provided to the waitress by the DS: wear gloves when pulling on fishnet stockings to prevent snagging them.
 
What will I do when both women are in Vancouver for the August long weekend? Who will take me to the strippers?

I’m cured!

July 18, 2006 4 comments
My OB-GYN called today. The good news is that there’s nothing "ominously wrong with" me. The bad news is that he’s "stumped".
 
All my test results are in and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with me. That’s good to hear, but also kind of scary: if nothing is wrong with me and I was bleeding like a stuck pig, I’d hate to see what will happen to me if something becomes seriously wrong with me.
 
Also, I apologise for the lack of blog entries, but I had J&C visiting from Labrador last week. It’s really nice having friends that you’ve never slept with around. Although that implies I don’t like having friends around with whom I have slept with and that’s just not true. The more of those, the better frankly.
 
And what I like about J&C is that no matter how long between visits, it’s like we were just together last week. It’s awesome. We hung around in the village, had dinner with Stella, went to my hockey game with the DS, went to Boston Pizza so they could buy me dinner and beer, watched a movie, all very normal things. I used to go over to their place every Friday for dinner when we all still lived in Edmonton. They lived 15 minutes away. I miss that. Labrador is not 15 minutes away.
 
They also bought fancy groceries and left them in my fridge. I’ll never complain about fancy groceries. And they got me aveda shampoo that smells like groceries. Well, mostly like toothpaste. I’m not sure what I make of that, but it does wonderful things to my hair. The DS is going to smell my head tomorrow so she’ll let me know if toothpaste is a good smell for me.
Categories: Uncategorized

My car isn’t the only thing slightly off-centre, it seems.

July 12, 2006 Leave a comment
I was a little concerned driving in today, that my park job from yesterday would set the bar so high that I would not be able to park as well today. Knowing that I would be sitting in my office, looking at my park job, seeing it be not as perfect as yesterday, would bug me all day.
 
So as I pulled in to park, I was practically paralyzed by the fear of parking badly. I briefly considered  just leaving the car running by the front door but gas is 105.9 a litre.
 
I was brave. I parked. It’s good. I’d like it centred in the spot a little more, but it’s parallel to the lines and that’s what’s important. The lateral placement is good as long as I’m within the rule of thirds (ie: it’s aesthetically pleasing when it’s slightly off-centre).
 
Maybe tomorrow I should park on the other side of the building…
Categories: Work

Observations at work.

July 11, 2006 Leave a comment
1. Looking out my office window (which is dirty on the outside, grrr), I see my car in the parking lot. I must say that I parked perfectly today. Every time I look at it, the virgo in me smiles.
 
2. The cleaners have changed the toilet paper in the bathrooms. I’m not sure how I feel about this, but I am feeling something.
Categories: Work

Rochester, New York pride parade.

July 9, 2006 Leave a comment
Yesterday was the Rochester Pride Parade. My ROTC group went down to perform.
 
We left my place at about noon and due to the bumper-to-bumper traffic on the QEW all the way to the border, arrived at 4:30. The parade started at 5pm, which left us half an hour to pee, decorate the truck and practice the routine. (We have to do a run through prior to every day since a portion of it is people-dependent and if someone doesn’t show up, we have to adjust the routine to compensate.)
 
The parade itself was good – about an hour long – and there were a lot of enthusiastic supporters considering the size of the town. After the parade, many people came up to thank us for coming and Leanne even had a groupie (I’m still waiting for my groupies though…).
 
Unfortunately, there were also protesters. Not one group, not two, not three, but four groups, standing on the side of the road with signs. In each group was a middle-aged caucasian male with an electronic bullhorn reading scripture to us. And to me, it honestly looked like the same middle-aged caucasian male, but I know that’s impossible. One not only read scripture but was saying something like "when you’re standing at the judgement hall before the lord…" and then all I could hear was our music.. "shake it shake it shake it girl"…
 
I think that the next time we come across one of these groups on a parade route, we should all drop our flags, run to the guy with the bullhorn, fall on our knees and start crying "yes! thank you for showing us the light! we repent! we repent!" Then what would he do? Baptise us on the spot?
 
Honestly, don’t these people have better things to do on a Saturday afternoon?
 
The rest of the event was pretty good. We performed the routine on stage after the parade, but the DJ sped up the music so we were performing it very quickly. I actually dropped my flag, although ‘drop’ isn’t quite accurate. I essentially threw it off the stage during the ‘pump it, louder’ moment of the routine. Luckily a spectator passed it back. It could have been very bad if the spectator treated it like a hockey puck shot over the glass at a Leafs game and tried to keep it as a souvenir.
 
The creepiest moment of the day was when my cell phone beeped to tell me I had a new text message. It was from Roger’s Wireless, welcoming me to the U.S. I don’t think I like that my cell phone is keeping track of my location. My mother didn’t even know where I was, I don’t think my wireless provider should.
 
P.S. I learned today that one of the judges for the Toronto Pride Parade where we won the ‘most fabulous choreography’ award was Jake Gold (the Canadian Idol judge). That’s pretty impressive that we could impress an Idol judge and I’m thinking maybe since he is already familiar with my work, I should try out at the next Idol audition. I may not be able to sing, but I’ll distract them with my big pink flag.
 
Oh and Nina Arsenault was also a judge. She’s another local celebrity: she’s "Canada’s most famous transsexual". She’s had a lot of plastic surgery, was on Kink (on Showcase) and writes a column in FAB (one of Toronto’s free gay publications), among other things. Recently, she was introduced to American notoriety when Tommy Lee hit on her in a Toronto club. I’m not sure why, but knowing that Nina Arsenault was looking at our ROTC group (well, let’s face it, I’m sure she was looking at me), absolutely enraptured by our (ie: my) performance and thinking "that’s some fabulous choreography" gets me all excited.
Categories: LGBT, ROTC

The scariest thing I’ve read recently.

July 6, 2006 Leave a comment
Here is a link to a message board started by people who want to stop funding to the Ottawa Pride Parade. I’m not concerned about them wanting to stop the funding as any taxpayer can have an opinion regarding where their tax dollars go, it’s the other slander they are spewing regarding gay lifestyle that I find scary.
 
This is in Canada and this is recent. As a non-urine-throwing gay person, I would just like to remind people who don’t think overt support of gay rights is necessary, homophobia still runs rampant in North America and not just in the red states.
 
 
<Aside: For those of you who are wondering about ‘water sports’, I do not do it and I’m gay, but I do know straight people who do. Not that there’s anything wrong with it.>
Categories: LGBT