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Centipede invasion!

A couple of weeks ago, the wtb was doing laundry in my basement. I was sleeping upstairs. Please don’t draw the conclusion that she slaves away doing housekeeping while I lounge. I assure you, this is not the case.
Anyway, she comes upstairs and tells me that there is a "huge centipede with millions of legs swimming in the laundry sink". Apparently, she was doing laundry and noticed the bug in the sink. As it was too large to squish, she tried to drown it by turning on the tap and filling the sink with water. Then she noticed that the bug was Alex Bauman. (He’s a Canadian Olympic swimmer.)
"Are you sure he was swimming and not drowning?" I asked.
"Yes," she replied and acted out a pretty good impersonation of the bug to illustrate the ‘swimming’ action, which obviously could not be mistaken for drowning.
So I had to take care of it. I grabbed some tp, went downstairs, looked in the sink and found a bug that was hardly a "huge centipede with millions of legs" – it was a small bug with wings and maybe six legs. And it certainly wasn’t swimming, it was drowning. I smushed it and went back to bed.
The next day, we were downstairs folding laundry and started discussing the bug. I told her that her bug identification skills needed some work. Then we discovered that there was indeed a centipede and that it somehow escaped the sink, leaving a poor non-centipede bug to suffer its fate. We have been unable to find the centipede.
Last week, Mikey, a co-worker, calls me into his office. There is a huge centipede on his office wall. We decide to capture it and humanely release it into the parking lot. I get a paper cup and eventually trap it. It took a lot of chasing as this Ben Johnson bug had a lot of speed. But we did manage to catch it and release it back to Mother Earth – well Mother Asphalt anyway.
Today, Allison, another co-worker, comes into my office describing her valiant efforts to thwart a centipede in the ladies washroom. Unlike Mikey, she could handle the bug on her own and it only took two attempts to throw a paper towel over it and squash it with her shoe. But then she was unable to pick up the bloody corpse and throw it out. That became my job.
Sigh. I really thought people valued me for more than just bug disposal.
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